I think I had muffled my enjoyment instinct and got seduced by the capitalist economy. A few years back I arrived on the British soil full of hopes and certain of my direction in life: I wanted to be wealthy. Or at least have more money.
4 years passed I have less than I had. I’m in debt 
.
Anyway, I finally understand what I was so shocked about shortly after my relocation. There was a G8 protest in Edinburgh attended abundantly by anticapitalists. I said to myself then, go to Cuba or China and see for yourself how great communism is.
So here I am now, an anticapitalist myself . A lot of things changed in my mentality. But that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for my lifestyle of a westerner.
I finally know what it is like when almost everything adverised on TV is accessible to you. It’s a great thing to be able to simply log in to your Amazon account, choose a DVD, a CD or a rucksack and pay via your PayPal account. All in seconds. It’s yours now and you still have enough left to live till your next paycheck.
Well it wasn’t always like that. Four years ago it was exactly the opposite. Buying a pair of shoes or trousers used to be a major decision. Something that we would go over with my GF in a series of conversations over a period of several weeks to figure out if we definitely had enough to pay bills and buy the pair of shoes. It was ridiculous.
Now that all the benefits of the civilized world lie at my feat I hate it. I hate the delusion of all these things being accessible. Buying an Xbox is like extending contract for your soul with the devil by another few months. The more indebted you are the more your soul belongs to the lenders. I realized I’ve become a slave of my own greed.
I don’t have an Xbox but I do like buying. The feeling of gathering new belongings is so soothing and reaffirming. I am a member of this society, everything on offer can be mine. The question is whether I want it or not and that gives me the feeling of power.
Capitalism is addictive. It gives you the illusion of comfort, acceptance, luxury. It makes you feel you’re a member of the superior society, one that can have the best that this world has on offer.
I used to criticize anticapitalists and scorn them for not understanding how bad communism is. Well that’s the thing, I’ve always associated anticapitalists with communicsts. I think I can see the difference now.
This is a big change in my standpoint. I’m judging the world from a completely different angle now. I need money to feed myself. But I know I don’t need as much as I’m getting now. What I need instead is more free time to enjoy my life.
Thank you capitalism for letting me discover this.
